Cancer sucks

I love chocolate. I woke up one morning having fallen asleep watching Star wars (empire strikes back) and groggily looked at my left hand. There was this black dot on it and logically I thought I was chocolate. So I did was anyone would do and tried to lick it off. To my surprise it did not come off.

I went to the bathroom and cleaned my face and examined it closer. It looked like the black dot was raised a little bit. Not knowing much about this stuff I went to the internet. It said I should get it checked. Later that day I went to the family dermatologist. He was this old Greek guy and a sneaky bastard.

He was a sneaky bastard because when examining my hand he distracted me to quickly do a pencil biopsy on my hand. That shit hurt, I still remember the piercing pain of that crap. A pencil biopsy is when they take an pencil eraser sized chunk of your skin and take to the lab to examine. Since this old bastard was one of the top dermatologist, he had his own lab onsite so if I waited a few hours I could get my results.

I waited in the lobby for a few hours to find out that I had melanoma in my left hand. He was worried and wanted to open my hand up to take a closer look. At this point I was scared and realized it was serious. I agreed and he did local anesthesia removing all the skin off the top of my hand. Mind you, I was awake watching him do this and super curious asking questions. Which I found out later annoyed him. For the next couple hours he cut out roughly 70% of the muscle in my hand.

Something I didn’t realize was how stretchy your skin is. When closing up my hand, he stretched the skin from one end of my hand to the other and did a suture. This is the scar it left.

I was told that he thinks he got most of it and we would do more scans to confirm that. I began to eat meat to help the muscle grow back, and put my hand in wax once a year to check the density of muscle in my hand to track growth. I had to do chemo for a month as a safety measure and it was awful.

Today I’m right handed. I discovered that I can draw with my right hand and write better. So maybe it was a mistake I was left handed? I’m cancer free today but I still go in each year to get checked to just be sure.

I thought I’d share a story that I don’t often tell.

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